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P&O Songs
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P&O National Anthem & Bye Bye Oriana
The P&O National Anthem has been supplied by Mark Sawyer and is sung to the tune of “The Bladden Races” and the Bye Bye Oriana song is sung to the tune of “Bye Bye Blackbird”.
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Dave Oakes has sent me a missing verse to the P&O Anthem which goes as follows,
The Pursers Department's in a hell of a state,
The jobs on the arse but they never work late,
The biggest decision so far seems to be,
Whether it’s two lumps or whether it’s three.
He also recalls that the naughty words we used at the time were a lot naughtier than the ones on the song sheet.
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Oriana Song
Dave Oakes recalls this song, sung to the tune of 'An English Country Garden' which he thinks was penned by Andy Jackson? He can’t remember all of it but it goes something like this.
Those with a sensitive disposition should avert their eyes about now,
Do you want to know, what goes on down below,
on the S.S. Oriana,
Let me tell you Miss, why we’re always on the piss,
on the S.S. Oriana,
Where running round like cunts, the gennies on the bum,
the boilers are empty, the bilges are full,
Is it any wonder lads that the engineers go mad,
on the S.S. Oriana.
Have you ever had a peep at an engineer asleep,
on the S.S. Oriana?
What do you see, sleeping peacefully,
on the S.S. Oriana?
You can see f*ck all, ‘cos they never sleep at all,
there all down below mending turbines, one and all.
If you think I'm talking trash, have a fucking bash,
on the S.S. Oriana.
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Oriana Song 2
Sent in by Alan Williams.
Goodbye Oriana, goodbye seconds too;
Ever since Southampton we've been fucked about by you,
Your turbines are a failure, your genies are a farce,
And as for this voyage, you can stick it up your arse.
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Oriana Song Sheet 1969
This excellent and lengthy song sheet has been sent in by Steve Wedd.
click on the icon above.
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Take Me Home
Here is a song written by Stuart Drew in the 80's on Oriana, he had some help from Andy (Lightning) Ball and Michael (Blaster) Blaskiewicz. It's sung to the tune of 'Camp Granada'.
Hello Mother Hello Father,
This is me on Oriana,
Don't like standbys don't like work ups,
And the Bopper says that all I make are f**k ups.
Chorus
Take me home Oh Mr Hewiit,
Take me home Oh Mr. Hewitt,
Take me home, I didn't want to come,
I'd rather be at home with me Mum!
All the others seem so happy,
What I'm wondering is how can that be?
It's so noisy I'm always sweatin',
And every other week I'm f**king jettin!
Repeat Chorus.
Bored of Fiji, tired of Tonga,
I can't stand it any longer,
Don't like Aussies, even sh*tters,
And I get the runs from those Victoria Bitters!
Repeat Chorus.
End
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Once a Jolly Junior
Written by Andrew Ball and sung to the tune of Waltzing Matilda.
Once a jolly junior worked up on the boiler top,
Under the shade of the I D fan
And he sang as he worked and sweated on his Sooty pipe,
Who’ll come a-chiselling nuts off with me?
Chorus
Chiselling nuts off, chiselling nuts off,
Who’ll come a-chiselling nuts off with me?
And he sang as he worked and sweated on his Sooty pipe,
Who’ll come a-chiselling nuts off with me?
Down came the sooty pipe from off of the boiler top,
Up came a cry of “You ****” from below,
And he sang as it smashed and crashed into the Bailey Board,
Who’ll come a-chiselling nuts off with me?
Chorus
Up came the Second in his clean white boiler suit,
Up came the Thirds, one, two, three,
Where’s that bloody Sooty pipe, you took off just yesterday?
Who’ll come a-chiselling nuts off with me?
Chorus
Up jumped the junior and off of the boiler top,
You’ll never take me alive cried he,
And his ghost may be heard as you pass the Starboard Bailey Board,
Who’ll come a-chiselling nuts off with me?
Chorus
Note: In the second verse, the **** word is changeable depending on the company present during the performance. In the third verse, the third line should be sung with your top teeth sticking over your lower lip “a-la-Bopper!”
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The Doggies Party
This was asked for by Dave Harbinson and supplied by Terry Bartholomew.
The dogs all had a party,
They came from near and far.
Some dogs came by taxi,
And others came by car.
Each dog signed his name,
Upon a special book.
And each dog hung his backside,
upon a special hook.
One dog was not invited,
And this aroused his ire.
He stormed into the party
And loudly shouted "FIRE!"
And in the chaos that followed,
The dogs forgot to look.
And grabbed just any backside,
From off of any hook.
So that is the real reason,
Whenever they meet or roam.
They sniff each others' backside,
To try and find their own!
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